This is not the spring 2020 you planned. So if food is a coping mechanism for you right now, you’re not doing anything wrong. If you thought you put a food “problem” to rest and it’s back, you’re not doing anything wrong.

Over the course of the past few months I’ve been putting myself back together again.

I was sitting cross-legged in the small meditation hall about to begin a seven-day silent retreat. There were about twenty of us on cushions laid out on the wooden floor when our teacher asked, What’s one word that summarizes your intention for these seven days?

My word came rushing in.

I had an experience the other day that I’d like to share with you.

It happened while I was in my kitchen making a cup of tea of tea. My baby had just gone down for a nap and the house was quiet.

It’s quite difficult to be in my postpartum body right now. I don’t have more than a few pants that fit me. My c section scar is still numb and sensitive to the touch. I cannot do simple movements that used to come easy for me.

Right around the turn of the century our culture entered a low carb craze.